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Written Off

By: Bob Mackey

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November 24, 2007

The 2007 Writers Guild of America strike is making one thing apparent for a population of couch potatoes: television has writers.  Hugh Laurie can’t just limp onto a set and not play by the rules as TV’s House; he needs explicit, printed instructions of what the rules are and how to best not play by them.  Also, like all actors, he needs stage directions, dialogue, and the exact degree to which he should raise an eyebrow during reaction shots and Houseisms.  Television writers bring us all this, and more.  No matter what your opinion on the current state of television, at some point in your life you were probably attached to one show or another.  And these programs were written by writers – unless, of course, you’re a fan of reality shows or game shows like Are You Smarter than a Random Number Generator?  If so, congratulations!  You’ve contributed to the downfall of Western Civilization!

[Since complaining about reality shows is a trite, overdone topic that went out of style with boy bands, I will let you, the reader, insert your own rant here if you wish.  For those looking to be clever, please include a comment like, “It’s kind of ironic that they’re called reality shows when most of them are scripted.”  Show it to your misanthropic friends for street cred.]

If you’re not familiar with the details of the WGA strike, here’s an excellent video that does a great job of summing up the issue.  While you watch it, imagine the creaky, old, white dinosaurs who control these media corporations and who've made your entire year’s salary in the time it take to watch this video:



I’ve honestly been surprised by the support I’ve seen for the writers by the average TV-viewer.  When the WGA strike began, I expected to hear comments like, “Writers strike?!  Why, I don’t get no royalties for the 5-gallon drums of mayonnaise I sell at the Sam’s Club!  Them sissies need to buckle down and do their jobs! *sound of tobacco hitting spittoon*   Of course, the average TV viewer isn’t a tobacco-chewing hillbilly who works at Sam’s Club part-time while trying to figure out a new workers comp scam, but this is just how my mind chooses to symbolize people who have contempt for writing and writers.  Much like being the president, writing is hard work.  But unlike the President, writers aren’t happy when they have to give corporations secret, under-the-table hand jobs (You see what I did there?  Look out, edge, because I am living on you!).

As the store of already-produced episodes slowly runs dry, I can almost see the tide turning.  People are siding with writers now, but what will happen when January rolls around and most of their favorite shows will be out of commission?  Quite a few programs have already fallen, and even more will be comatose by December.  It’s easy to be outraged now, but how will a TV-addicted populace feel when they are forced to turn to reruns for entertainment, or maybe even books – real, honest-to-god books!  It’s a nightmare scenario right out of that Twilight Zone episode where the world ends and that one guy has all the time in the world to read but loses his glasses, except we will all have perfectly-functioning eyes!

So, just what the hell can we do to support the WGA?  This website, organized by WGA members and supporters, allows any visitor to buy a box of pencils for just one dollar (of course, you can buy more).  According to Al Jean, current executive producer of The Simpsons, “The pencils will be delivered in bulk, to the 6 CEOs of the 6 congloms (Disney, News Corp, Viacom, Time Warner, CBS, GE) one by one.”  Can you think of a better way to give back to the people who have entertained you for so long?  I can’t.  Personally, as someone who doesn’t watch broadcast TV and gets all of his shows via online downloads and DVDs, I’m feeling more than a little guilty knowing that my money is going towards building a 30-story houseboat for Rupert Murdoch instead of into the pockets of the middle-class writers I admire.  It’s not hard to justify making the obscenely rich slightly less obscenely rich when an entire creative force is cut off from the profits that they deserve.

As I’ve warned, there may be a time in the not-too-distant future where every television show will consist of Ellen Degeneres sitting in an empty studio and weeping about a dog for 60 solid minutes.  Just remember that you have other options and that ultimately, this strike is for a good cause.  Why, during the war, when all of our Hollywood stars were off fighting the Nazis, your grandparents had to sit through a bunch of Ronald Reagan movies until the Axis fell.  If they lived through that, surely you can live through this.

4 comments


Comments

By ( anonymous )

What's more important is that the union has already released pro-WGA strike T-shirts and Livestrong-like bracelets. That oughta show 'em them big corporate bovines! (Kidding. Except for the part about shirts and rubber bracelets. That, unfortunately, is true.)

By ( anonymous )

Writers are on strike? THAT'S why the other journalists on here are so terrible...must be fill-in intern scabs!

By ( anonymous )

well, they need to raise money in some way. they are receiving donatations from all over the place, and merchandise is just another way of getting much-needed funds.

and blacksheep: i'm not sure if you're saying that i suck or everyone else sucks or everyone sucks, but bloggers and newspaper writers aren't part of the WGA. but if that was a roundabout way of complimenting me, i thank you.

By ( anonymous )

the best part of this are the true-to-form 'actors' like Eva Longeria showing her support for the lowly scribes; she's in need of a buttcheek revival next month.

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