I Was a Teenage Drag Queen: Part 1
November 8, 2007When I first came out of the closet I was wearing a pair of my mother's shoes. I tripped over a Bible and found myself in an extremely conservative suburb. I wanted very much to meet other people like myself but I wasn't sure how to do so. There were NO gay people in my hometown...well, no openly gay people. We had a former superintendent of schools who got arrested for jerking off in a nearby truck stop parking lot...but it was unclear whether he was doing it for the truck drivers or the prostitutes....and if it was for the prostitutes, whether it was for the male prostitutes or the female prostitutes. I was feeling lonely, but I wasn't feeling that lonely.
I tried the Internet route, visiting online dating sites and male4male chat rooms, but everyone I met was EXTREMELY creepy. Like, creepy uncle who loves to play Santa for all the wrong reasons, creepy. Where was dateline when I was a teenager? In any case, I met one too many men who wanted me to call them "Daddy" while they spanked me. There HAD to be another way to meet guys.
I first found out about gay bars from a friend of mine. Her aunt had a hair-drether who wath verrry into the club thene. I remember I was shocked that such a place existed in Youngstown...a place where gay people congregated in public? Who knew? It was the answer to my problem...my need to be surrounded by people like myself. There was one obstacle. I was only 18 and you had to be 21 to even step foot in the bar.
I wasn't about to wait three years to get my freak on, so I started doing some research. I found out from an online buddy that bouncers seldom checked the IDs of drag performers, especially if they hustled by with their arms full of wigs and costumes right as the show was about to begin. So...I would show up the bar five minutes to showtime dressed in a plastic wig, wearing thrift store drag. The big man at the door would let me in, I would do a couple of lip sync numbers, and then I would wash off the makeup, put on my boy clothes and enjoy the club scene. After a few weeks of doing this, I became a familiar face and no one questioned my age. I also started dating a guy who was fifteen years older than me...and people just assumed I was older.
Over the next few weeks I am going dish about experiences as a drag queen...the good, the bad, and the oh-so-very ugly. I am also opening myself up to any questions you may have. Do you have a question you are just itching to ask? I will be happy to help you scratch. I may even be able to recommend a good ointment ;~)
On November 30th and December 1st, I will be performing the lead role in How The Drag Queen Stole Christmas at the Oakland Center for the Arts. If anything I write in this blog sparks your interest in the drag world and you want to check it out for yourself, come see my show. I guarantee it is going to be the hottest ticket in town. For reservations, call 330 746 0404.
So bring it on, Youngstown...and don't be shy. I'm not.
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How the Drag Queen Stole Christmas sounds awesome. I wish it were still running when I get home on the 23rd or 24th.
Break a heel.
I have a drag question for you. What is it like to remove the backhair from a full figured drag queen with no more than a bic lighter and a pocket full of dreams?
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I seem to have tripped over a blog and found myself in a publicity stunt. Just as well, I hope "How the Drag Queen Stole Christmas" sells out again. I wish I could stay around after Thanksgiving to see it!
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Yeah well...your mom is a publicity stunt ;~)
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Burning the back hair off of a plus sized drag queen in a back alley was a huge right of passage for me. I remember the smell like most people recall the smell of pencil shavings and paste in elementary school. Awww good times!
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well, mr. big shot, i think this calls for a preview performance of the drag show over thanksgiving weekend...think we can pull it together? lol.
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I fully agree with The Girl - give us a preview on Thanksgiving weekend! In fact, just do it in your normal clothes.
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I just might. Better yet...maybe I will do it with no clothes.
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yeah but if you did that everyone would see your wing dang doodle
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...better that than my vermicious knid.
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Homer, I can see your doodle! LOL "I tripped over a Bible..." HA HA HA! Great writing. Hey, I have a question. When you do drag, where do you hide your Willy Wonka?
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uh wing dang doodle isn't from the simpsons. shouldn't you be somewhere busting the misuse of pictures on the internet?
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Oh look. Another BM.
Shouldn't you be huddled in your bedroom closet licking pictures of Matthew Perry?
I think it's funny that you have to stir up trouble on the comment boards of other people's blogs in a feeble attempt to get them to read yours.
I'd rather read a blog about a drag queen than a blog consisting of dated material that I could read a much better version of on IMDB, TV.com, or any of the thousands of websites that do a better job than you bobservo. Just do everyone a favor and go away.
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ouch. you certainly live up to your name, "ruffdawg." i can now see why you've chosen such a moniker: the ruff is clearly because of your candor, and the "dawg" comes from your tenacity in dealing with hypocrisy. add these together and you get a most delightful pun! les mots juste!
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When I am in drag my Wonka is safely stowed between my Oompa Loompas. I will answer this question with more detail in this weeks blog :O) And as much as I love innuendo, I will refrain from making any quips about its trip to the chocolate factory.
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sheesh bro, take your movie summarizing to imdb.com why don'tcha
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