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What Would Jesus Do ?

By: Robert Joki



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June 25, 2008

So I was standing in line at Walmart one night. Those of you who know me outside of Valley24 are probably already laughing because so many of my stories take place when I am in line at Walmart. It's unfortunate, but I spend a ridiculous amount of time there. It's uncomfortable, always ten degrees hotter than the rest of the store, and there are usually two cashiers per fifty customers. I typically make three or four visits a week...ten minutes in the store, twenty minutes in line. It's awful and I'm not proud of it. The one upside is that I get the opportunity to share very close quarters with folks that I usually would not get a chance to associate with. This gives me lots of stuff to talk about.

Anyway, it was a Saturday night and I had just finished a drag performance, a benefit show for the Oakland Center for the Arts. I had washed the makeup off and was wearing jeans and an old flannel shirt. Other than some liquid liner residue, my face was makeup free. I tried to de-glitter my body as best I could...but wearing glitter is like having crabs. It’s hard to get rid of and it’s contagious. Needless to say, I was a little on the sparkly side. The cashier noticed this and commented on it. I told her that I had just finished doing a drag show for charity. She was pleasantly curious...but I noticed that the group of high school kids standing behind me started to giggle and mumble to each other. I ignored them at first and was telling the cashier about my drag troupe, Fundraising is a Drag , and the organizations we’ve raised money for over the years... when I distinctly heard one of the kids behind me mutter the word "faggot." I was caught off guard and I quickly turned to look at the group. There were five of them...none of which looked older than 18. The one standing in the middle, the apparent ringleader, was wearing a yellow t-shirt that said in large blue letters "WWJD." He smiled innocently at me. The cashier glared at them as she wished me a good night and handed me my change. As I turned to go she said, "I think what you do is wonderful."

Looking back, I wish I would have paid more attention to what the nice lady said and ignored the haters behind me. My mind was spinning as I crossed the parking lot. All I could think of was the yellow t-shirt. WWJD. What would Jesus do? The phrase was very familiar to me. When I was a Baptist teenager I wore a bracelet that said the same thing. What would Jesus do? Its purpose was to remind me of my faith and keep me on the straight and narrow path. What would Jesus do? I doubt he would call me a "faggot"...and if he did, I’m sure it would be like a private joke/term of endearment kind of thing, you know, like when girlfriends call each other "betch." We’d be sitting at Starbucks, sipping venti java chip frappuccinos. Mine would have extra whipped cream on top, as always...and I would probably make an off colored joke as I wiped some of the cream from the corner of my mouth. Jesus would smile and call me a faggot, and I’d call him a martyr and we’d have a good laugh and maybe share a scone. Something like that. It definitely wouldn’t be about hate.

If I was Jesus, I would be pissed. People give the poor guy a bad name. Everyone speaks for him. Jesus says this. Jesus thinks that. Jesus loves you, but not what you do. Jesus thinks you should call now and send money to insert-name-here ministries. Jesus wants you to vote for so and so. Jesus loves the people of this country, but not the people of that country. Jesus wants you to use this prayer rug until it magically grants you a wish! Even the Bible is filled with the words of people who speak for Jesus. The gospels weren’t written by Jesus, they were written by sinners like you and me.

So... what do I think Jesus would do? I think he would have come to my drag show and supported a good cause. Also...he’d probably tell me not to shop at Walmart.

59 comments


Comments

By buff ( anonymous )

I am pleased to be the first one to comment, because as you know I am Jesus' number one fan. However, I am not the number one fan of the rest of his fans. The Jesus I worship loves all people. Jesus never mentions homosexuality in the bible, not even once. Some even believe that where the bible talks about Lot and his family at Sodom, it's not about being gay, but about using homosexuality as a form of power. Jesus does speak about fornication, adultery, and impure thoughts (yikes, that's a toughy to say out loud).

Unfortunately everyone interprets their take on Jesus differently. I love all people, like my Lord teaches me. Even the poor in spirit, the persecuted, and the persecutors, I will pray for them all. If you have faith, (which I believe contrary to what you lead others to believe, you do), stay strong in your faith. Jesus loves you with or without glitter. But, nobody likes walmart, they just shop there because they have cheaper toilet paper and toothpaste.

By typhoidpat ( anonymous )

This was a great blog, Rob! I agree that Jesus would definitely not call you a name like that (and that he might also tell you to stop shopping at Walmart, hahahahaha).
Thankfully Jesus is a patient dude and he'll have grace with the kids who represented him poorly. I'm a little relieved that it was a young kid who did this, rather than a grown adult. I certainly don't want to be held to everything I said in high school. Hopefully the kid will grow up and start living like his shirt professes he does.

By Cbarzak ( anonymous )

Since his death Jesus has been used by various groups and individuals to justify their own beliefs by saying they were things Jesus said or believed. His name carries so much power that most people simply crumble whenever it is mentioned, no matter who the person using it is. You're right, the gospels weren't written by Jesus. They were written by regular old people like you and me, and on top of that, they were written about eighty years after his death. Knowing that the average life span of people back in those days was about forty years old, it's not really possible to say that even any of those people who wrote the gospels were alive in the days of Jesus to witness any of what happened. His death reverberated among the Jews and continued to be talked about for decades, most likely, until a group of people realized, hey, this guy's name *still* carries power and influence. Well, let's use it.

Going back to the Old Testament, as Buff says, even Sodom and Gomorrah is misinterpreted as the sin of homosexuality. I'd go one step further and say that whoever Buff heard say it is a story of using homosexuality as a form of power isn't taking into consideration the fact that Lot tried to offer his daughters to the people to satisfy them--offered them up for rape--so it is not even about using homosexuality as power, because homosexuality as a "thing in and of itself," as an identity, did not exist then. People certainly had same sex affairs and love, but it was not a thing that anyone considered as a thing in and of itself. It was simply a behavior, rather than an indication of identity. Likewise, in Greece and Rome, the two foundations for Western society today, bisexuality was a common thing, expected even. If a man did not have a young male lover, he was actually viewed as "less than a man" by many other men. It was that common.

By Cbarzak ( anonymous )

Back to Sodom and Gomorrah, though, since it was brought up. The meaning behind that story has to do with the cities being unwelcoming to visitors. When the angels come in disguise, they are noted as "outsiders" and the people of those cities did not welcome them, as Lot did. There is the rule of hospitality in the bible (which no one pays attention to at all these days, despite Christians saying you have to take the whole book, not just what you want to take) and those people were not hospitable to the angels God sent disguised as men. Lot is saved because he welcomes them into his house and even offers his daughters to the masses that have formed outside his door to appease their craziness. That's actually not really discussed by many today. Want to offer up your daughters to the masses for rape? You have to take the whole bible now, not just pick and choose!

There are also rules against eating pork which no one follows. There are rules about stoning people to death, like prostitutes. There are rules against shellfish. There are rules about how to wear types of clothes that no longer even exist. But are these things ever talked about? No. Because most Christians, the false ones who only care to use Christ's name to justify their own beliefs, haven't actually read the bible, have actually picked and chosen what they want to look at.

And *everyone* misses the part of scripture where it says shopping at Walmart is a sin.

What would Jesus do? Probably he'd have waited outside Walmart and stoned (remember, he's from biblical times) that ignorant brat for saying what he did and wearing a shirt that associated the kid with his name.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

Great comments guys...thanks for reading :O)

By spoulton ( Sarah Poulton )

Amen, Rob!

By dramaticsquirrel ( anonymous )

WWJD?

Float his ass on over to Target.

By lucy ( anonymous )

Rob, I love your blog. I blogrolled you. It's been a long time since I've read anything this sweet, and sad, and funny. I'm so tired of the Jesus thing too. It just seems so simple to me (and in my opinion, anyone who has actually read the Bible) that Jesus wouldn't condone much of what is being said and done in his name. A long time ago, I read an editorial that said that what is being called Christianity is actually Paulianity, and that Paul shouldn't be read "without the help of a good Jungian psychologist."

Oh, and a side comment, I agree with damaticsquirrel. Target, as least, offers partnership benefits to its employees. This fact helps me justify all of my frivilous Target purchases ;)

By katieeverybody ( anonymous )

Great blog. I think the same thing so often. A lot of Christians give Jesus such a bad name, it's unfortunate. The older I get, the more I think that one of the biggest causes of atheism is indeed Christianity.

By MGShorrab ( anonymous )

1. Yeah, but I think we can all agree that Jesus does indeed hate fat people. Look at how buff he is. If God created us in his image, fat people aren't it. Thanks for the type 2 diabetes, Lord!

2. HEY CBARZAK! YOU THINK YOU'RE A WRITER OR SOMETHING. Sheesh.

3. Who wants to bet that WWJD kid comes out of the closet in college?

By willinnyc ( anonymous )

Robert -- Finally figured out this blog business. What's with the above comment about Jesus hating fat people? Negative comments about fat people seem to be acceptable in our culture. Live large, guys! HAPPY GAY PRIDE SUNDAY TO ALL OF YOU IN YOUNGSTOWN!

By bpwells ( anonymous )

Love the blog! I think that Jesus would have joined you. He would have borrowed some glitter and stood with you in line and invited those kids to your next show!!

For the record, the ONTDQ was incredible! Maybe one day the kid will be helping you raise funds for charity! :-)

By tdevlin ( anonymous )

He would say "follow me" eat dinner at your home with you, heal your headache, tell you about His Kingdom, give you hope for this life, and let you taste the one thats coming.

By maccabeus ( anonymous )

The first question that I have is , why do we even care what the Bible has to say about issues like this? And why do we always resort to people who have, at one time or another, said, written, or acted in Jesus name? We claim to be a diverse generation exploring all religions and yet we can't get away from the "Jesus thing"! I would suggest this is because He is the only person that has set a standard that bothers us. If we can prove what He has said to be false,for example, by claiming that, "somebody", wrote the Gospels to use them simply for the power (simony-Acts 8:18-23),or by referring to Bible to make it say what we want it to - then we are free to live as we want. However, if the Bible is indeed God's word and does apply to our lives, and is the only standard of truth, then we are faced with the option to live the truth,or reject the truth. Saying that we can't understand the Bible or rejecting it because it doesn't fit our lifestyle, or making reference to civilizations in history that blatantly rejected Christianity and killed Christians is just being lazy. So, if you're reading this and are not lazy, do yourself a favor and read an article that actually deals with all the verses in their context, unlike Cbarzak did. Here's the spot: www.str.org and search for "What was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah".

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

...and after you check THAT out, type in the word "homosexual" into the site's search engine and take a gander at the rest of the anti-gay propaganda they have listed. It's pretty amusing. And typical. I always enjoy reading articles pertaining to "the truth about homosexuality"... especially when they are written by people who think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

By ruKustheaccount ( anonymous )

The great Thomas Paine has all your answers. The Age of Reason. Pick it up at any bookstore on the face of the planet.

Synchronicerely,
theruKus

By willinnyc ( anonymous )

Robert -- I just breezed through your previous blogs with relish and delight. You certainly received some interestng and entertaining responses! Is gay life in Youngstown relegated to blogs and quick, occasional trips to Cleveland or Pittsburg? Obviously, there is countercultural movement in Mahoning County. What else can Jim and I expect if we chuck our fast paced/never-a-dull moment lives in NYC for quiet, simpler Yo-Po?
Keep on writing! Any idea what your readership is in numbers?

By maccabeus ( anonymous )

Propaganda is the " Methodical propagation of a particular doctrine or of allegations reflecting its views and interests." Is "gay" propaganda then the view that EVERYTHING outside of its support is negative, hateful, and wrong? If so,that is the claim made against Christianity. What is typical, is the practice of leaders throughout history to propogate their movement by lying, discouraging and eliminating information that opposes their belief,and eventually killing any threat. Hitler used these methods, and more, to persuade people to believe that the elderly, the physically disabled,and the mentally handicapped should be eliminated. After this "service" was done, homosexuals, Christians, Jews, Romanians, and the Polish were added.
Why mention this? Because intelligent debate is never an option."Christians" and homosexuals have failed at this. Rather than respond to what was written, or said, we laugh it off and make it a joke. Like the young "Christians" at Wal-Mart and like your last article.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

Well, I don't know nuthin bout all that fancy talk...but I do know this: A little humor lightens the load. If I present my unique story and point of view with a little funny infused, people read it...and they remember it. I'm not here to get into debates or throw statistics and studies at anyone. I wouldn't be very good at that. I wouldn't even want to read that. What I can do is give readers a tiny glimpse into my big gay life...and maybe make them laugh. It is my belief that most of the misconceptions about homosexuality are preached and passed along by people who don't really know any homosexuals. If I tell a person a story and make people laugh, they begin to relate to me. The more they get to know me the more they start to realize that I am not the monster society makes me out to be. I'm not here to ruin the armed forces and institute of marriage. I'm not here to make anyone drop the soap. I'm not going to swoop down from the sky and steal anyone's baby. I'm just here.

By maccabeus ( anonymous )

Dennick,
Thank you for your response. I'm thinking about it and will probably post tomorrow if you happen to drop by

By maccabeus ( anonymous )

Dennick,
Your point is well taken. I apologize for sounding debatish and agree with your outlook on humor. Debating is usually a horrible way to discuss things and produces little results, especially in a blog. To clarify my intentions, I guess I also wanted to keep from being looked at as the monster in society. Primarily because, as a Christian, it's the unfortunate events at Wal-Mart's and the angry/frustrated pastor's preaching that always seem to cause us to be labeled by society as we are. As I alluded to earlier, this is one of our many faults. However, there are many, such as myself, who with, good intentions, want to speak from a relational perspective with Christ- not a religious. I realize that the "Christ says this", "Christ says do that" is criticized, however, the religious hermit is also criticized because he is disconnected from society- those around him.My desire is to try and speak about what is true, not just what I believe. This is another failure of the modern Christian- "because I believe it- it's true". This is the reason I referenced the article, not to "propogate", but to give an educated outlook, more than myself, on a piece of very old writing that was referenced. Well, could say a ton more on this topic but this is way too long- so I hope this helps.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

It helps a great deal. Thank you for that. I know a little something myself about the struggle to be heard...and I certainly know what it feels like to be labeled. I think we actually have a lot in common.

By TrevorQuillan ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By Furthermind ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By Furthermind ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By joestradamus ( anonymous )

Hey, TQ! Way to fail at spamming a hyperlink to something that, without context, I can only assume is unrelated.

By ruKustheaccount ( anonymous )

Spam is selling something. That link wasn't selling anything. It's a movie that answers questions raised in the comments of this blog. Do yourselves a favor and watch it. Just Google Zeitgeist Movie. Caution: it's not for the weak of mind.

Synchronicerely,
-M

By joestradamus ( anonymous )

Spam is not selling something. Spam is sending multiple copies of an unwanted message. If you want to know why your message was unwanted, read my previous comment.

By bobservo ( Bob Mackey )

oh sweet jesus somehow i knew the rukus radio folks would be 9/11 truthers

By joestradamus ( anonymous )

I know. It's one of those things that makes so much sense that it catches you off-guard when you receive confirmation.

By ruKustheaccount ( anonymous )

and somehow we knew bob mackey would mindlessly accept any piece of information the media feeds him.

By Furthermind ( anonymous )

why is it that every time i log on to this site i feel as if i warped back into highschool. you all need to grow up. somehow my comments get deleted. zeitgeist movie (dot) com

By bobservo ( Bob Mackey )

was anyone around to witness the moon landing besides filthy, lying astronauts? heh, mindless sheeple will never know the truth.

By IamSureIwillBeCensored ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By bobservo ( Bob Mackey )

zeitgeist the movie claims that 9/11 was engineered by our own government as part of a world domination scheme, which is pretty cool i guess if you're an ignorant manchild who wants to think that the world is full of x-files conspiracies as opposed to the harsh reality of random events that can kill you at any moment.

the bush administration is pretty evil, but 9/11 truthers are one step away from believing that underground jewish bankers secretly rule the world.

By IamSureIwillBeCensored ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

I know I'm late commenting on this, but Buff, you are wrong. It does mention 'homosexuality' in the bible; just not those words exactly. It's called fornication. And while, yes, there are many forms of fornication, homosexuality is one of them. He calls it an abomination, as well as sex out of marriage, sex with your siblings, parents and own children. Now, I was raised in a very strict religious home, but as a person with very strong views of my own, I don't cast anyone out. No, I don't agree with the lifestyle of homosexuals, but I don't down them or hate them or judge them for that matter. It's not my call to do so. I actually prefer a gay man as a friend than a backstabbing jealous hearted woman. Now, after reading all the comments and responses to this particular issue, there is opinions, facts and just plain lies. Everyone knows that being gay is a choice and not something you're born with. I am tired of gay people trying to stake that claim. Being black, latino, or white is something you're born with, not being gay. Most people in their lives have been faced with that God-forsaken question in the back of their minds. 'Am I gay or do I like both?' I myself, have been faced with that dilemma at one point in my life, but I quickly found out that answer the first time I had sex. (which was with a man). I love men, well, my husband, but before marriage, I loved men a lot. I have had my wonders and fantasies, but I know that I'm not gay. I'm very straight. I don't persecute gay people nor do I have a secret loathing for them. I love them for being brave enough to live the way they want and see fit. I envy their spirit, and their style for that matter. I am a cool straight person. But my religious side knows best. It is wrong in the eyes of the Lord. Just like having sex for pure pleasure. People don't know, but you're really only supposed to have sex for procreation. But just like I can burn in hell for something someone might see as not as 'bad' as being homosexual, so will they. No sin is greater than the other. Someone who murdered a rapist will burn just as long and hard as someone who killed an innocent baby. The point of the matter is, it's wrong, religiously anyway. Now, what do I think Jesus would have done? He would've smacked the kid in his mouth and told him to shut up and be respectful of people and he would've turned to you and said, "hey, that's what comes with the territory. You chose it, not deal with it!". It's not like being black, or latino where you are persecuted for not having a choice in the way you look or live. When you choose something that significant in your life, you have to deal with what comes your way, just like everything else. So, guess what, Jesus did what he was supposed to. Turned the other cheek!!!

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

I must type too slow, because I come back and there are so many other comments on this 9/11 thing. I do believe our government came up with this scheme to get certain laws passed and to scare us into believing the terrorists were coming to get us. Hey, I heard a comedian say once, "If we elected Colonel Sanders as president and all of a sudden, the price of chicken quadrupled, then wouldn't you wonder about some things?!" So, why is everyone so darned surprised that since an oil tycoon stole the election that the price of gas has sky rocketed? Our government has so many things to 'control' society and scare us into believing and voting certain things into law you wouldn't believe. You must not be blind to the fact that government is out for self and is drunk off of power. So many walk around this planet with blinders on and some walk around thinking everyone and everything is a conspiracy. You need to judge for yourself. I hate to bring race into just about everything I say or do, but that is what it all boils down to. Just like drugs didn't become an epidemic until it hit the white neighborhoods, i.e. the suburbs. Teen pregnancy was cool as long as it was mostly black and latinos that were the ones having the babies at young ages, but as soon as the white girls were having them young, it's an epidemic. I hate to be the person always playing the race card, but when you have been discriminated against because of the color of your skin, or when you see white people, not all but most, always getting what they want, or having better opportunities than most, and they are always the ones in power, that's how the world looks to you. During this election campaign, I heard something that describes all of the prejudiced, racists and ignorant people: ENTITLED. Most whites are born feeling like they are entitled. Just like Hillary & Bill. They felt like they were entitled to win so they didn't fight hard until it was too late. As Barak comes closer to clinching presidency, I am warming to the idea that people are coming around and the reason for this change of heart: (this is only my theory) There are so many mixed race people in this country and so many people that are tired of seeing old white men and women making decisions for them based on old laws and old ways of thinking that they are finally coming to the realization that Black people are just like us and if they were good enough to build this country (for free mind you) with their blood sweat and tears and love this country enough to enlist in the military and fight for a country that hates us and did nothing but persecute us for looking different, then why can't they get a chance to run this country. Why can't we get to be the one making decisions for all that made the decisions for us and never got to know anything REAL about us.

By IamSureIwillBeCensored ( anonymous )
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
By maccabeus ( anonymous )

MzVirgoLuv,
Please don't be offended by this question, but as I was reading your entries I couldn't help but notice that your first entry sounds different than the second. My question then is this: If you can reference the Bible and claim to be "religious" concerning matters of lifestyle, how can you then forget what Paul has said in Romans concerning authority(Romans 13)? I will agree with you that our government has made and continues to make mistakes. However, if you are "religious" then you will also know that they will answer for the choices they have made and the way they have handled their authority over us. More than all of this though, I disagree with you on the race card, primarily because it is not a matter of black, white,latino,..etc- it is a matter of morality. Without a "guide" to walk by, people will treat people however they want. They will hate homosexuals, they will hate Christians, they will hate people of other color, they will hate their next door neighbor. What then were you meaning by turning the other cheek? If anyone has a right to be ticked at the government it would probably be Jesus, unless you believe Him to be a criminal deserving of crucifixion. We are told that He was led as a lamb to the slaughter yet did not open His mouth.He is my lesson on government. And yes it is a hard pill to swollow, but, we have options. Thankfully, we have the right in this country to pursue involvement with this govt. that we dislike. An example of this, keeping it local, is our mayor.However, this is getting away from the point, which is, first- if you don't like things the way they are then make a difference, and secondly, before you make a difference ask yourself why you're doing it. If our motives for change are just as hateful as the ones were trying to eliminate then have we really improved anything?

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

Mzvirgo, I thank you for reading my blog and commenting, but this quote truly disturbs me:

"Everyone knows that being gay is a choice and not something you're born with."

No, dear, everyone does NOT know. In your comment you write that you are not gay. So my question to you is...how do you KNOW it is a choice? You aren't gay...so how do you TRULY know?

I'm gay. I have always been gay. I have never been attracted to women. Ever. There was no choice to be made. Period. As an insider I am giving you the scoop. It's not a choice. Not even a little bit. If it was a choice I totally would have chosen to have an easy straight life with a wife and a couple of kids and a white picket fence...and most importantly, freedom from people who know ALL ABOUT GAY PEOPLE even though they are not gay themselves.

As for your comments about the Bible...it calls LOTS of things an abomination. There are verses and verses and verses about stoning people, which animals do/don't "chew the cud," and random lists of things (that we now, as a culture, do on a regular basis) that can make you "unclean until evening." As a woman, you should be grateful that the Old Testament laws aren't still in effect or once a month you would be confined to a tent and shunned by all for a week or so. And if you happened to have physical contact with a man during that time...you would be banished from your people.

The bottom line is, whether you like it or not, the Bible is filled with symbolism and myth, and it is certainly open to interpretation.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

I watched zeitgeist. I think everyone should. It made a lot of really good points about the use of religion to manipulate the population. I thought some of the 9/11 stuff was a bit far fetched, but I do agree that there are some awfully fishy coincidences.

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

Sorry, Dennick, it IS a choice. I fought with my sexuality and at times did find women attractive but when it came down to it, just KNEW inside me that I was not gay. I have never been with a woman but I did at some point, very young point, in my life I would find myself looking at a woman being attracted to her. But in the end, I knew I loved men. See, you chose to go with the feeling and felt that you liked it once you did. I have a mother that dabbled in bisexuality and believe me, she even stated that it was a choice. My God mother is the mother of seven children and prefers women over men any day, but has that itch to be with a man every now and then because it's her nature. I am not gay, but believe I am one of those people with a severe open mind, maybe too open at times, so I ask questions, I LISTEN and I observe. Like I stated before, most people in their life has struggled with their sexuality and chose to go with their hearts. If you think you didn't have a choice, you would've went with the wife and picket fence world, but you went with what you felt and made the CHOICE to go with it. And as far as the bible, it's not myth and I will not discuss it with people who don't believe in it fully. It's a touchy subject to me and if you aren't a believer in God and his word, WITHOUT QUESTION then I don't discuss it. But you know what, we could probably be best friends because I love people who aren't afraid to express themselves and who aren't scared to say whatever the hell is on their minds. You go boy and be fierce!!!! And stick to the choice you made. Cause in the end, we all to live our own lives and deal with what comes our way ourselves anyway. I bet you're fun to hang out with, cause I am. And oh, if we still went by the old testament's ways and shunned women during that time of the month, I would be ecstatic because I hate doing anything during that time. Believe me, I wish my husband didn't bother for some brain action during that time. Maybe I should try to make it a law. A 'Woman's Down Time' Act.

By Mgen ( anonymous )

MzVirgoLuv: So what you are saying is, you are a closet lesbian?

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

Maccabeus, I have to say, you are reading way too much into my comment. I understand about the religious thing, but you must know that I’m not religious, I’m spiritual. Religion is something, to me anyway, that is fanatical, but being spiritual, you connect with all not just someone in religion. Now, let's be honest, it IS a race thing. Not wanting to sound so cliché but if you haven't been in a situations like I have ever been in, then you really don't know. And as far as the government and the bible, I know what it says and I know what it means. I am still allowed to disagree with how it’s run. And as far as me trying to make a difference I do. I am not trying to make this a debate either, but just giving some insight into mines and similar peoples' world. Believe it or not, it's easier to be gay in this society than it is to be black. I see it all the time. And to the gay readers/bloggers, don't get offended. I just go by what I have lived and what I have been through. Yes, gays get discriminated against in very crude and inhumane ways, but there seem to be more advocates for gay rights than for civil rights for blacks. Just like there are secrets on how to destroy the gay community and its people, there no secret to how they are trying to destroy the black community. And don't get me wrong, this isn't just 'white' people's fault, the black community is at fault for a lot that happens to them because we stand by idle doing nothing and even feed it at times. And some insight, I'm not all black either. I have three races I am mixed with but I am prone to be pro-black. I go by what I see not what I hear. My motives are not hateful at all for wanting to change the way things are; it's quite the opposite. Yes, maybe I am being doe eyed when I say I wish that everyone could get along and learn to accept people for who they are and understand that we are not judges of people's lives but merely spectators. Yes, I want my daughters and sons to find true love, no matter whom it may be with and what race they are. But the reality is, when others outside of my family see that I have Black-Chinese mixed cousins or that my aunts and uncles and even my own children look like a rainbow they have something hateful to say. Or when my mom shows up every year to a family gathering with either her boyfriend or girlfriend that isn’t black, it will get smirks and whispers from non family members about the race of her companion not the gender. I get the world is different and only the returning of Christ will make it all better, but not everyone does and that's what I want to change. I don't want to change the world, I just want to change the minds of people in it. And the turning the cheek thing was just a little inside humor. Hey, what do you want, I don't have friends, by choice, and I don't go anywhere.

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

No, I'm not a closet lesbian. I don't find women attractive like that anymore. I was just saying that at one point, a very younger point in my life, I did. So in turn, being gay is a choice. Some things aren't though, like being born in a city of shit, or being born a race that's not popular among most or the way your body is shaped, well, now a days you do have choice on that. But you get my point. I am strictly *&()ly. You guys are so funny and so much fun in here. Can you detect my sarcasm or do I have to blog about that too? I have five kids, three dogs, and a husband; I have no life. I dream of the life you people have. My inner wild child is fighting to get out!!. Hey, idea, let's change the subject. Dont go crazy, it's just an idea. Did anyone see the Hancock? What did you think. I am a severe movie buff, <--- see I told you I don't do anything, so what did you think of it; I loved it. I thought is was outside of the box of superheroes. See, I have a light side too.

By bobservo ( Bob Mackey )

i decided to be gay for just one night and let me tell you that was pretty awkward

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

Good for you Mackey. At least you tried. <----Detect the sarcasm.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

MzVirgo...you are probably right, I think you and I could be great friends. I respect that you made the decision not to act on your attraction to other women...but I hope you understand that what is true for you is not necessarily true for others. When I was a teenager I tried to be attracted to women. I even tried dating them because it was what society wanted me to do. But no matter how many times I tried or how many times I prayed for Jesus to make me straight...or even bisexual, it just didn't happen. Then one day it hit me...it's not going to happen because it is not supposed to happen. I'm just gay. There's no use fretting about it or trying to change it. It's just the way it is. And there isn't a thing wrong with it. It isn't hurting anyone. And it doesn't make me a bad person. Once I realized that, I was able to live my life.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

You mentioned that you used to be attracted to women. Let me ask you this: Did you choose to be attracted to them, or did it just happen? I am going to guess that it just happened. That wasn't your choice. Your CHOICE came later when you realized that you were also attracted to men. Then you had an option. Now IMAGINE if you did have sex with a man...and you hated it to the point of nausea, or were unable to go through with it at all. You could not CHOOSE to like it. That is what I mean when I say it is not a choice.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

Now when we talk about lifestyle...I did have choices, but let's consider those: I could be celibate...or try and fake my way through a pseudo straight life with a woman. Neither of those options seem particularly fair to me, not to mention anyone else directly involved. I have dated many divorced men. Men who tried to be straight...but ended up ruining lives. It's just not a good idea.

By Dennick ( Robert Joki )

I don't see people as just straight or gay. I think there are many degrees in between. From what you have written here, I get the idea that you are somewhere in the middle...bisexual. I am not bisexual. Not even a little bit. So comparing your choice to live a straight lifestyle with my choice to live a gay lifestyle is like comparing apples to oranges.

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

I am not bi, tri or anything but straight. And my attraction to women was I found now, by choice. Not to tell too much, not having your mom around when you are growing up and me being a female can make you have a lot to deal with. I know now that it truly wasn't attraction, but merely wanting to have some type of female contact. Because when I think about it, it was always older women. Just like my choice of men, before my husband. Every man I dated was at least ten years older than me or more for that matter. My first son's father was 13 years older me and every boyfriend before and after. And that was partly due to me not having my father around and being raised by my old grandparents. My grandfather was 15 years older than my g-mother and I think growing up in a household as such kind of steered me that way. Once I came to terms of not having my parents around (and not due to any deaths, although, that would have a better excuse than the truth) I found myself attracted to men my age and not older than me. I even married a younger man. Only 1 1/2 years younger, but younger nonetheless. I am very analytical of myself and am always observant to my surroundings so I actually remedied myself. I am not in between, believe, I am the type of person who has to know me before I can make a final judgment. I am straighter than flag pole that doesn't sway in the wind. I am glad you at least tried to do what you thought was right, but in the end you did what so many of us want to: What we want to do instead of what is expected of us. That's why I'm so hated on this site, because I say what I want, not what is expected.

By MzVirgoLuv ( anonymous )

But also, apples and oranges are still in one and the same category: FRUIT. So that term to me is like comparing prices at Walmart & Target. It's still the same type of store. Get me? God I just love you Dennick. You are too cool.

By Mgen ( anonymous )

Mzvirgo you wrote "I am glad you at least tried to do what you thought was right, but in the end you did what so many of us want to: What we want to do instead of what is expected of us." Are you actually saying the writer is gay just because he wants to go against society? He has stated more than one time in this thread that he is not attracted to women. You also write "I actually remedied myself" I am curious about this. What do you think he should have done? How could he go about a remedy for his homosexuality?

By SvenskFlicka ( anonymous )

In my life I have found that the "WWJD" wearing people, the "bible-thumping" Christians or even the self proclaimed "devout" catholics have been some of the worst hypocrites I have ever met! They live their lives judging what everyone else does, disregarding what they do in their own life. These people have preached to me countless times about the way I should live my life because they are the "experts" on exactly what God wants. These are the same people who I have witnessed talking badly about people, making racist remarks, swearing constantly, having premarital sex, ect.. All things that they judge everyone else for, they themselves do. But the difference is they are absolved of all the wrongs and are better people because they go to church 2-3 times a week. Lets look at some examples of these great people doing the Lords work. Reverend Jesse Jackson was the first to condemn Don Imus for using racial slurs but on a hot mike is heard saying the "n" word himself in a comment during a Barack Obama interview, Or the priests who have been found molesting young boys, Or even the religious FLDS sect who looks down on our world and all of it's sins but at the same time is practicing incest on young children. I am a Christian, but above all I am a sinner. I try everyday to be the best person that I can be, but I don't believe that because I don't go to church every week or wear my religion on a wristband or t-shirt that I should be judged. Thank God, that he is the only one that decides my fate and not one of his minions.

By SvenskFlicka ( anonymous )

Now on to the topic of homosexuality. I have read what other people have said in their blogs regarding that sexual preference as a choice. When you are born you don't get to chose your race, eye color, hair color, ect. That is all in your genetic DNA. So is the fact that you will be either male or female, but some people are born with more or less chromosomes which I think makes some men more feminine and some women more masculine. I have seen lots of babies come through my practice that are born with undescended testicles and are pronounced male, but are later found to be female. Look at hermaphrodites. Science and your genetic makeup decides what you will be. I remember in my old job this mother whose son was 5 and he wanted to play with dolls and was always into her makeup and wanted to dress up. She was clueless! I knew right then and there that he seemed more feminine in his characteristics and mannerisms and would most likely be gay. Do you think that its his choice to not be as masculine as the other boys in the neighborhood? Will his sexual orientation be a choice someday or was this something genetically decided for him long before? Being gay or straight or bi shouldn't matter. Love is so hard to find.. I have seen many marriages with the man, wife,children and white picket fence that fall apart due to fidelity and lies, yet I have gay male friends who have been in a monogamous relationship for 12 years that just got married. In this day and age there is such an absence of compassion and regard for other people, that any form of love is a good thing. Whomever you "choose". Now how bout' a group hug!! ;-)

By WarSuiGai ( anonymous )

Golf claps to Mz. Virgo for speaking her mind, and even offering glimpses of her life for blog readers. I've heard other people echo similar thoughts. That said, I think her prejudice toward
gay people is far more potent and detrimental than she even realizes.

By DrGoldbloom ( anonymous )

Reading this blog reminds me of an old television commercial for the chruch of jesus christ's latterday saints. I hope that I spelled that correctly,lol. Anyhow,there was a very long line of parishoners standing outside the church waiting to gain admission and working the door were these two really big bouncers only letting certain types of people inside. And the narrator had said,"When Jesus was alive,he didn't turn anyone away".Coincidentally enough,this was right after Dubya was elected into office using the religion platform for votes.

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